Comfort

Couple months earlier, I was chatting with a friend, mindlessly rambling on about how I had nothing to complain about in my life at the moment, when he concluded that I was in my "comfort zone."
I could practically hear the echo of that conclusion even in the minutes that followed as he talked about other things. My mind was still lingering on that thought, and I remember thinking to myself over and over again, "Picker, you are officially in the comfort zone that you never thoguht you would be in." All the while I was still nodding in agreement and gesturing in time to utterances that were beginning to fade even before they had even started. In other words, I was not paying attention.

So this is what being in the comfort zone feels like. As far as I can remember, I have never been in a comfort zone. Ive always been in turmoil, making decisions, worrying about making decisions, waiting for my next step, preparing for my next step....until now. Its not a bad feeling, Ill give it that. But somehow unnerving. Its like when you are at work and you have nothing to do. THAT is when you should start worrying, BECAUSE　you have nothing to do. I hate that feeling. So, I dont think my comfort zone will last long. Ive started to plan ahead again, or at least, thinking about things that are better off left unthought of...for now. Argh.
One of the purposes in life is to be active, to have things to do, to know that you are capable, or even if its just finding out that youre NOT capable, and working to BECOME capable. Its an ongoing process. Very much like work or a job itself. If not, then why not just be a bum?